Preparing to Die?

 

Years ago, I had a friend whose 18-year-old daughter was killed in a car accident as she drove back to college. She was instantly killed when her car struck a barrier in the median. It was unbelievably painful attending that young lady's funeral. She was a strong athlete with a seemingly bright future ahead of her.

About a month after her death, another friend's 11-year-old son died following a four-year battle against bone cancer. Since the age of seven, this precious boy had been in a mountain of pain and had endured treatments that seemed like a cruel scientific experiment.

Not long after both of these young people died, I was talking to the dad of the 18-year-old girl as he told me about the conversation he had just had with the mom of the 11-year-old boy. In that conversation, she told him that she knew it must be harder for him to lose his child than for her because it happened so suddenly, without warning. He replied to her that he thought it was worse for her because she had to watch her child suffer for four long years in a slow and painful death.

At the time, my kids were four and six years old and all I could think was "wow, no matter how you look at this, both of you have lost your children and that is not ok".

About a decade later, another friend lost his 22-year-old daughter in a car accident and one of my other friends had a son who was dying of leukemia. I was at dinner with a mutual friend and I mentioned our friend whose son had leukemia and she said, "well at least she's had all this time to prepare for his death unlike "friend" whose daughter died suddenly last week".

I couldn't believe what she said. I hate that our friend's daughter was killed in that accident. No parent should have to endure the death of a child. But to suggest that a cancer parent is preparing for their child's death? NO! They are fighting for their LIFE! They fight every single day, every single moment. No parent prepares for their child's death. It's not ok.

To all the parents who have lost a child, no matter how that happened... I hate that you have had to endure this pain. It is not ok.